Who did originally come up with that saying anyway? I'm guessing not a professional athlete. And if it was, I'm sure they weren't a pro very long.
9. "I dunno. I never smoked any AstroTurf." - Tug McGraw
Tim McGraw's dad, a two time MLB all star, was asked whether he preferred grass or AstroTurf and this little dandy of a quote came out. Surprised it didn't spawn a country song.
8. "The only reason I don't like playing in the World Series is I can't watch myself play." - Reggie Jackson
Sorry Mr. October, you were couple of decades before your time. Today's players can TiVo their games and watch themselves as many times as they want. Jealous?
7. "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - Joe Theisman
To be fair to Joe, maybe Albert Einstein had a brother named Norman. No? He didn't? Wow, great use of that Notre Dame education Joe.
6. "I have the same malice in my heart as far as the fight game is concerned, but outside the ring, I won't say anything a dignified man won't say." - Mike Tyson
Really Mike? Aren't you the same person that said "I want to rip out his heart and feed it to Lennox Lewis. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."? Not sure how dignified that is.
5. "I'm traveling to all 51 states to see who can stop 85." - Chad "Ocho-Cinco" Johnson
Congratulations to Puerto Rico for becoming our 51st state! No, they're not a state? Guam? Not them either? Mexico or Canada? Good luck finding No. 51 Chad.
4. The many quotes of Shaquille O'Neal
- "I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok."
Don't forget make bad movies and sell bad records. The best movie/record you ever made was that YouTube video of your Kobe rap.
- "We're not worried about the Sacramento Queens. Not at all."
Name calling will always get you on a best quotes list as long as it's funny. Just last week Shaq called Chris Bosh the "RuPaul of NBA big men". Now that's borderline Diesel; borderline the funniest comparison I've ever heard.
- "My game's like the Pythagorean Theorem. It ain't got no answer."
Of course it doesn't have an answer; it's a theorem. Shaq's size ^2 + Shaq's skill ^2 = ?
3. "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - Jason Kidd
Jason might need Shaq to teach him some geometry. You see Jason, by taking your team 360 degrees, you just wind up where you started.
2. "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." - Torrin Polk
Who is Torrin Polk you ask? Well, he was a University of Houston receiver who thought earrings were manly. Google search him; that's all you'll find.
1. Charles Barkley
- "I'm just what America needs - another unemployed black man."
Those were Chuck's words after he retired from the NBA. I think you'll survive Charles.
- "When I was recruited by Auburn, they took me to a strip joint. When I saw those titties on Buffy, I knew that Auburn met my academic requirements."
I'm going to play it safe and not make a joke about this one. There's a joke just sitting right there that's really obvious, so I'll let you find it and take credit for it.
- "All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine."
All the leading scorers in Vanderbilt history are wishing they went to Auburn right about now. Those degrees are about equal, right?
- "Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a couple weeks. I thought he was going to pull a spear on me."
This took place during a 1992 Dream Team game against Angola where Barkley got into an altercation with another player. A 116-48 beat down would call for some spear throwing in some countries, so way to stand your ground Chuck. And just in case that actually happens, you know it's your responsibility to dive in front of anything headed towards Michael Jordan right?
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